Update

1. I’m not dead.

2. I’m currently redrafting some things.

3. I will be back.

4. Soon.

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EVENINGS IN THE SINNERS’ BAR – A SONG

evenings in the sinners’ bar – a song

(or, "Trauma")

V1

Stepping into a room of dolls

Feeling watched, feeling alone

Dead button eyes and broken souls

Take your seat on the bogus throne

V2

Falling asleep to a nightmare world

A million silhouettes and memories

With twisted hands and fingers curled

Blurred lines between friends and enemies

PRE

another evening in the sinners’ bar

haunted by regrets and visions

eyes and hearts in perspex jars

sealed away in transparent prisons

CHORUS

evenings in the sinners’ bar

forgotten celebrations

evenings in the sinners’ bar

i love your bad decisions

you visit every night

and you say you don’t know why

but each time you drop by

do you regret your lies?

V3

Pour your drink of blood and tears

It twists and turns down your throat

It fills you up half-full with fear

It fills you up – your time is near

V4

Shaking hands and shaking heads

Pointing fingers and judgement nights

Are you satisfied with the life you’ve led?

Don’t you wish that you were dead?

PRE

another evening in the sinners’ bar

haunted by desperate visions

broken hearts in perspex jars

sealed away in transparent prisons

CHORUS

evenings in the sinners’ bar

repeated tribulations

evenings in the sinners’ bar

repeated bad decisions

you visit every night

and you say you don’t know why

but each time you drop by

you dream of your demise

BRIDGE

You’re walking through the doors again

Walking into the devil bar again

You’re looking for your unbroken heart

You’re looking for a chance to fall apart

And you know the cruelty of your life

When you’re awake, you can’t find light

But even when you close your eyes

You can’t find a single compromise

Even in sleep, you’re trapped in the dream

You’re in hell and nothing’s what it seems

At day, life’s bleak, and at night, the world’s dark-

Finding yourself trapped in the sinners’ bar…

CHORUS

the evenings in the sinners’ bar

the trials and tribulations

the evenings in the sinners’ bar

mistakes and bad decisions

you visit every single night

you wish that you could say goodbye

every time that you drop by

you wish that you could die

that you could die

DROWNING – A SONG

Drowning

(Or, Anxiety)

INTRO

We’re shackled to our screens, shackled to machines

Full of hopes and fears, regrets and shattered dreams

We try to clear our minds but worry’s tattooed on our genes

We try our best to forget, but we can’t erase the scenes

V1

Smiling on the outside but every second of every day

Could-have-beens, would-have-beens and things we cannot change

These obsessions drag me down to the darkest places

Worries, doubts, questions, and half-forgotten faces

V2

It’s building up inside you, bubbling away, fermenting madness

Living with a heavy mind, yeah we’re living in distress

We’re masking our sadness, hiding it away almost all the time

Wishing on the pretty lies, waiting for the stars to align

CHORUS

Sleepless, secrets, fears, tears

I’m drowning, drowning

Stress, mess, jealous, careless

Drowning, drowning

Choking, loathing, manic, panic

We’re drowning, drowning

Numbness, darkness, gasping, collapsing

Drowning, drowning

V3

The thoughts inside my head cut my soul like scissors

I let the fear inside me simmer, and I let myself wither

I couldn’t and I wouldn’t let the light into my brain

I locked myself away cause there was more to lose than gain

V4

I was at war with myself and my soul was the battlefield

A battle with the darkness, a battle hidden, concealed

Amid the chaos in my soul, I felt trapped inside my skin

I didn’t know who I was and I didn’t know who could win

CHORUS

Sleepless, secrets, fears, tears

I’m drowning, drowning

Stress, mess, jealous, careless

Drowning, drowning

Choking, loathing, manic, panic

We’re drowning, drowning

Numbness, darkness, gasping, collapsing

Drowning, drowning

BRIDGE

And I felt like I was disintegrating and it felt like falling apart

And I felt like all the deadly thoughts were poisoning my heart

And I waited and I waited but the happiness, it never came

And my world was burning, soul was burning, my mind was aflame

And I was gasping, writhing, struggling, choking, looking for the light

And I knew that if happiness was to come, it wouldn’t overnight

And I dreamed and dreamed that one day happiness may be for sale

And I dreamed and begged and prayed and hoped but to no avail

CHORUS

Sleepless, secrets, fears, tears

I’m drowning, drowning

Stress, mess, jealous, careless

Drowning, drowning

Choking, loathing, manic, panic

We’re drowning, drowning

Numbness, darkness, gasping, collapsing

Drowning, drowning

CODA

But I knew deep down that the floodwaters would recede

I knew that as the days went on I would slowly feel more free

As I learnt how to forget and I learnt how to trust

I slowly felt the sadness inside me crumble into dust

MANNEQUIN – A SONG

“Mannequin”

(Or, "Savanna")

SPOKEN INTRO

Sitting around, drinking before your show

Sitting around, don’t know where to go

Sitting around, sitting around

Sitting around, oh you’re just sitting around

V1

Blemish-free face and new designer outfits

You’re Miss America but inside you feel shit

What’s the point of Prada, Valentino, Gucci

When deep down inside, you feel so empty?

V2

Your retouched eyes glimmer and sparkle

Sitting in the centre of your social circles

But all this glamour costs you something

You got everything but you feel like nothing

CHORUS

Photoshop made you look so thin

You’re just a mannequin, just a mannequin

Drowning in your booze ’n bling

You’re just a mannequin, just a mannequin

Fame came with a toxic sting

You’re just a mannequin, just a mannequin

Life of milk and honey, but here’s the thing

You’re just a mannequin, another mannequin

V3

Millions of followers, the eternal commotion

Smiling with the camera without emotion

Catwalks, interviews, epitome of success

A million engagements but your life’s a mess

V4

Forever looking for your own eternal stars

You’ve fought so hard yet happiness feels so far

Drowning in endorsements and sponsorship deals

“When will I ever be able to feel truly real?”

CHORUS

Photoshop made you look so thin

You’re just a mannequin, just a mannequin

Drowning in your booze ’n bling

You’re just a mannequin, just a mannequin

Fame came with a toxic sting

You’re just a mannequin, just a mannequin

Life of milk and honey, but here’s the thing

You’re just a mannequin, another mannequin

BRIDGE

No longer wanting notoriety, no longer wanting fame

No longer wanting to spend your life playing the game

No longer wanting the whole wide world to recognise your name

No longer wanting all the stars and critical acclaim

No longer wanting flick through tabloids, veins full of shame

Realising that this game of charades, it’ll only end in flames

Cause you’re a mannequin of soundbites and glossy mags

You’re a mannequin of smudged mascara and jet-lag

You’re a mannequin of fur, myrrh, coats, quotes, bags, tags

You’re a mannequin of drugs and delusions, come and take a drag-

CHORUS

Photoshop made you look so thin

You’re just a mannequin, just a mannequin

Drowning in your booze ’n bling

You’re just a mannequin, just a mannequin

Fame came with a toxic sting

You’re just a mannequin, just a mannequin

Life of milk and honey, but here’s the thing

You’re just a mannequin, another mannequin

CHORUS 2

Photoshop softened your eyes, your skin

You’re just a mannequin, just a mannequin

Computer-manipulation made you thin

You’re just a mannequin, just a mannequin

Fame wrecked you and you’ll never win

You’re just a mannequin, just a mannequin

One, two, three, stand tall, pose and grin

Just a mannequin, another mannequin

SPOKEN OUTRO

Mannequin of skin,

Mannequin so thin

You’ll never ever win

So just pose and grin

SATELLITE: A SONG

Satellite

V1

You were the stars and the earth

Magnetic from my death to your birth

My life, it consisted of an orbit

The orbit round your celestial spirit

V2

I wanted a life with direction, with magnitude

A life worth living, a life under you

I used to be the tides and you made my days

My days orbiting in your celestial phase

CHORUS

Satellite

I’ll put things right

Satellite

It’s worth the fight

Satellite

Your aura so bright

Satellite

It’ll be alright

V3

The cosmos of our love was unbalanced

Our arrangement never stood a chance

We caused the waves and quakes and droughts

Love was a bad disease, you left me with no doubt

V4

We neglected the other people in our lives

We somehow stopped noticing the light

It’s difficult to see through untrustworthy eyes

Difficult to see through all your lies

CHORUS

Satellite

Never out of sight

Satellite

Never-ending fight

Satellite

Your aura so bright

Satellite

It doesn’t feel right

BRIDGE

In the end I was doting and hovering and spinning

I felt that without you my life would lack meaning

I was attracted like a moth to your brilliant light

But I died and I died when I fell for your lies

OUTRO

Your lies burned

Fiery bright

Your eyes shined

Blind desire

Our love felt

So right

Our love died

Barbed wire

CODA

Satellite

Black and white

Satellite

Black and white

Satellite

Black and white

Black and white

Black and white

SONGS WITHOUT MELODIES

“Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.”

Part 1: Dreams

Part 2: Château Château

Part 3: Torchlight Howl

Part 4: Breakthrough

Part 5: Burn the Scrolls (Explicit)

Part 6: Savannah (or, “The Lonely Queen of the American Dream”)

Part 7: DEMAND+SUPPLY

Part 8: Not About You

Part 9: The Regime

Part 10: Coming Soonsongs without melodies FINAL

P.S. These are rudimental works in progress. I will be redrafting and rewriting these over the coming weeks. I hope to be able to publish the new rewritten editions in a few months time, and maybe some new material. Thank you xxx

SONGS WITHOUT MELODIES PART 10: COMING SOON

SONGS WITHOUT MELODIES

PART 10: COMING SOON

“You must give everything to make your life as beautiful as the dreams that dance in your imagination.”

INTRO

All our dreams and all our hopes

Weighing us down like chains

All my life’s ambition, all emotion

Was it worth all the pain?

V1

We’ve fought enough, I’ve shed my blood

Living through the sweat and tears

Forever drowning in the ambition flood

Always been dissatisfied all these years

V2

We’ve tried too hard, I’ve sacrificed enough

Never-ending stream of objectives, goals

Why does life have to be so tough?

We’ve got more desire in us than soul

PRE

When looking for happiness leads to sadness

When searching for fame turns to the waiting game

When thirst for knowledge turns you to madness

When you plan your life out but forget your own name

CHORUS

It’s “Coming Soon”, “Coming Soon”

Always striving to be the best

All my dreams and all the rest

They’re “Coming Soon”, they’re “Coming Soon”

It’s “Coming Soon”, “Coming Soon”

Tired days and sleepless nights

The red carpets and shining lights

They’re “Coming Soon”, they’re “Coming Soon”

V3

We spend our days trying to stand out

Ambition leads to lies and lies make enemies of us all

Competition and success is what our world is all about

Always on the look-out cause you’re always scared you’ll fall

V4

We’ve all never heard of any sadder tale

Than humanity’s evolution into machines of metal

We’re programmed to win, and we’re afraid to fail

Were we born to succeed, were we born to win medals?

PRE

When we spend 9 to 5 in an air-conditioned office

When we get back home only to face all our displays

We’re unlocking our phones, but not getting any solace

Our drive to succeed continues in the games we play

CHORUS

It’s “Coming Soon”, “Coming Soon”

Humans just want to be the best

All my hopes and all the rest

They’re “Coming Soon”, they’re “Coming Soon”

It’s “Coming Soon”, “Coming Soon”

Living on a treadmill, one stumble and you lose

The certificates and the expensive booze

They’re “Coming Soon”, they’re “Coming Soon”

V5

We’ll never get all our dreams and our hopes won’t all come true

We’re forever doomed to disappointment, doomed to shame

And even if we were able to achieve everything we knew

Would we only then be truly happy, in our glory and our fame?

V6

Sometimes we need to stand back and regain a little perspective

If we treat life as a tournament then we’ll always live under pressure

Sometimes we need to step away from our desires and our hopes

My heart just wants to wake up and feel as light as a feather

PRE

When there’s butterflies in your stomach every moment of every day

When you start to doubt that things get better, desperate for change

When life becomes a challenge, when it’s all work and no play

I’ve finally had enough, I’m feeling exhausted and deranged

CHORUS

It’s “Coming Soon”, “Coming Soon”

Our world is held up by 7 billion dreaming souls

Aims, ambitions, desires, dreams, hopes, goals

They’re “Coming Soon”, they’re “Coming Soon”

It’s “Coming Soon”, “Coming Soon”

Excessive dreams and hopes can only shackle and destroy us

But we can have our hopes without letting them control us

“Coming Soon”, “Coming Soon”

OUTRO

It’s a whole new perspective,

We don’t need success to be happy.

It’s fine to put our plans on hold,

When our happiness is put at stake.

Override the instinct to fight for gold,

I need to stop or else I’ll break.

Sometimes I think it might be better that way,

For my hopes and dreams to be “Coming Soon”.

§

I step from peaks to valleys

I wander on liquid floors

I stop and watch the faces

The faces I’ve ignored